Transitioning (HRT Stuff): This Time Size Counts

I didn’t realize what the differences were in the most recent order of T I got and the one from before that. Obviously, the biggest difference is T is sesame oil v. T in cotton seed oil, which so far has not been that much of a difference in actual changes produced or in how they inject (the thickness is about the same). Higher dosage seems to be honestly affecting me faster, since I’ve been told my other baristas at work that my voice is noticeably lower- to the point that one person who told me last week that my voice is lower now actually said yesterday that it’s even lower now! So, awesome!!! Everyone expects that my voice will be a real low base when it reaches the lowest it’s going to get, since it’s already here at 4 months.

The difference that I didn’t notice last week is that I was given a smaller needle for injecting this time. Last time I had 22’s for injecting, I think. Those seemed about right, a couple inches long, and thin enough to not hurt much. The ones I got in this box are 23’s, which I didn’t think would be much of a difference, maybe a little thinner or something, but it’s so different!!! It’s about a 1/4 inch shorter, and just a little thinner, but the shortness is what’s gotten me. I was worried it wouldn’t even get through the muscle to inject into, but I guess it did? The shot today was a little weird, lemme tell you about it.

So I had initially started up a video to be listening to during this, but I decided to not listen to it this time and eventually put my phone away from me. Turned on the fan in my bathroom, and off to work it was. So at this point I’d already prepped the needle, which worked out pretty well and didn’t take too long, but was a little off-feeling cause of the shorter needle. Still was fine, though. I had to work myself up to injecting for some reason, so I had to do the hit my leg thing a couple of times, and then I ran the alcohol pad over it and blew on it to do the cold thing. When I realized that was happening, I was like, “Oh shit, that might be to make the skin a little less sensitive for a second, MY TIME IS NOW.” and so I was quick about getting the needle in while the skin was still cool from the alcohol pad. Which was fine, though it stung just a little more than I thought it should have? Idk. I don’t think I nicked a vein or anything, it just felt kind weird during it, like I was hyper aware of where the top of the syringe was meeting my skin, and was also hyper aware of the T entering my body. Like, sometimes I feel the T, or an effect of the T being injected, and it feels like a liquid pouring down my leg. It doesn’t always feel that way the whole time or anything, but today I also felt a liquid-y feeling near my hip, which was bizarre.

That and the sting made me wonder if I’d fucked up, like if I was injecting into a vein or if I just missed the muscle entirely and it was just being injected right under the skin and going wherever the fuck. But I don’t think that happened, I think it went just fine. I feel a little weird right now, though, about 20ish minutes after I’ve finished. My chest feels a little tight, but I think that’s me having a little lingering fear that I fucked it up. The injection site is a little sore, but it didn’t bleed at all when I took the needle out and put pressure on it, so I’m pretty sure that shot actually went really well.

I’ll have to get used to the shorter needle, but other than that, I think things are good on the actual injection front.

The T’s effects are in full swing at this point. I’m getting hairier by the day, like everywhere. I was aware that I’d grow hair a lot of places, but I definitely didn’t understand exactly how much hair and they definitely meant everywhere. The facial hair is almost done shadowing in and the hair is growing longer there, so it’s only a matter of time before the actual facial hair comes in. I’ve got a bunch of acne now, but it’s mostly on my back honestly? And it’s annoying. I bought a scrub brush to use on my back in the shower and hopefully get rid of some of it. There are only a couple spots on my face, and they’re small, so I’m not super bothered by those.

The voice, as I’ve said, is lower, and get this! I bought myself what I’m gonna call a mini-binder the other day, since you’re not supposed to exercise in a binder but these are fine. So yesterday I wore that around the house to do laundry and wash my regular binders, but I didn’t give myself enough time because they weren’t dry by the time I needed to leave for work. So I ended up going to work in the mini-binder and I was worried that I was going to be dysphoric the entire time, but I wasn’t! The mini-binder doesn’t bind quite as well as a regular binder, so naturally I was afraid I’d get misgendered a lot, but in the entirety of my 6 hour shift I was only misgendered one time and enthusiastically called “Sir” for the majority of it. It was amazing and I’m very happy.

I am very pleased with most things in my life right now, as you’ve all heard about, and everything that is happening with T is only great and making me feel awesome. Huzzah!

Oh, also my birthday is on July 14th!!! 9 days!!! I’m gonna turn 21, and I’m so excited about it. Usually I’m not excited for birthdays, but I am this year and that’s rad. 🙂 (If you wanted to donate to my Top Surgery fund as a birthday gift that would be the coolest thing, btw. Like, the most rad.)

Reminder that I’ve got a gofundme for my top surgery!
You can find that here: GoFundMe!!!

Anything you can give helps a lot, and if you can’t donate right now, spreading the word would be really awesome of you. 🙂

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): Smells Like Teen Spirit

So I did my first shot of the cotton seed oil T on Sunday (it’s taken me a couple of days to post cause I’m lazy, mostly), and it went okay. I’m not allergic to it or anything, obviously, since I’m alive and don’t have some kind of awful rash or anything. Only thing was that I forgot how much pressure needed to be applied to break through the skin, so I did stick myself without breaking through one time.

But after that it was fine, and was not hard to get done. Still getting used to the higher dose, so it did still take me a minute to get the T in. After I did, though, everything was fine.

And more and more often recently I’ve been getting gendered properly by people! At restaurants, in drive-thrus, and at work when I say my name or people see me at the window, it’s still about 50%, maybe a little more, likely that I’ll get called Sir. It’s pretty rad. And as always, my voice is getting lower, and the hair is still coming in. Mostly the hair on my upper lip is becoming more noticeable, so that’s gonna be an actual mustache in the next month or so, is my guess.

Other than that, still getting sweaty and hairy and all that jazz, so things are fine!

I’m happy. I’m gonna try to remember how it feels to break the skin for next time so that I can get it down easier this time. But for now I feel good about things, and I’m hoping all the good changes keep coming along.

…That’s really all I got for this week, I think. I really need to just post this immediately after I do the shot, otherwise I don’t have much to say, so I’ll be better about it this next week.

Reminder that I’ve got a gofundme for my top surgery!
You can find that here: GoFundMe!!!

Anything you can give helps a lot, and if you can’t donate right now, spreading the word would be really awesome of you. 🙂

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): Like a River Flows

I’m trying to recall off the top of my head how many shots I’ve done so far, and I think I’m at 18??? Or something like that. But this Tuesday it will have been 4 months since I started T, and that’s amazing. Everytime I see my friends in my burlesque troupe, they all comment on how deep my voice is, and I keep looking more masculine all the time. It’s wonderful, and I’m so happy. Because of these changes, I’ve been gendered properly more than I ever have. Literally before I started T, even when I was trying to look my most masculine, I NEVER got “Sir”d. Like, ever. I can’t recall a single time where it happened. Now that I’ve started T, I get “Sir”d by customers at work, by wait-staff, by strangers saying hi. It’s maybe 50/50 at this point? Which is a vast, VAST improvement. I’m so pleased, and I keep feeling better about my gender presentation and myself in general, and it’s amazing.

This weeks shot was fine, I couldn’t get the skin of my thigh to do that thing where I don’t feel the point of the needle, but I made myself remember how the shot goes to try and get through the skin easier, which worked. The rest of the shot was easy as normal.

Except!! I called my coordinator and ordered more T, and it will be here tomorrow, but what’s fun is that while we were talking, he out of the blue asked me if I wanted to up my dosage! I was previously on .35ml, but he said I can move up to .4, and so I am! I’m at the end of my vial that I got a few months ago, which was a 10ml thing of the T in sesame seed oil, and today it was difficult to get the shot I needed out of the vial since it’s at the end, but I did. And I did a .4 this time, which felt like it took 1000 years to inject, but also was in short bursts kinda, since it felt hard to push the plunger thing down today. Also, I can sometimes feel it at the lower part of my thigh and lower down my leg when I inject, which is strange but alright.

I’m excited for more T! It’s going to arrive tomorrow, and I’m eager to see how the higher dosage makes the changes go faster. This time the T will be in cotton seed oil instead, which does not actually change the T or what does I should take it in, cotton seed oil is just more expensive, and they won’t have sesame oil for another few weeks, which I couldn’t wait for. The only worries were allergies, which I don’t have, so.

Kind of TMI here, I’ve talked about it before though, my libido is ridiculous at this point. Like, turned on by hardly anything, jerking off two times a day minimum at this point…. I’ve started to have to give myself a limit, like only do this once a day, but damn. I did not have to worry about this before, geeeez.

Anyway, things are awesome, and I’m very happy.

Reminder that I’ve got a gofundme for my top surgery!
You can find that here: GoFundMe!!!

Anything you can give helps a lot, and if you can’t donate right now, spreading the word would be really awesome of you. 🙂

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): One Thing Leads to Another

Alright!

It’s been a great week, things have gone well at work, I’ve gotten misgendered less and less there! There was once where someone actually misgendered me at the drive thru box then got to the window and went, “Oh, I’m sorry, I had a feeling I might have gotten that wrong”. Which was awesome.

Today was my shot day, and it’s my dad’s birthday! So before I did my shot I called him to have a chat, and we talked for almost an hour about various things. He’s being pretty chill about most things now, to the point where he’s asking me question s about the LGBTQ acronym and things like that. Also, he and my mom commented that my voice sounds lower, which hells yes it does. Soon I’ll be able to go back down there and see them in person again, so that’ll be good. They’ll get to see the other physical changes that are happening to me.

For instance, I’ve said this before, but more and more I keep noticing shadow on my jaw. It’s coming in slowly, but it’s coming. Soon it’s going to be actual facial hair, even. 🙂

Also, I’m getting hairier other places, too, my legs and stomach and neck and such. And the acne has arrived, though it’s only on a couple spots on my face. There are more spots on my back, which is super annoying, and now I’m going to get a back scrubber thingy for the shower so I can minimize how long I’ve got to deal with this junk.

So the shot today was fine, I gently poked myself once before the shot, but then I was really easily able to get it down. Didn’t take too long at all, honestly. Pretty proud of myself for how well I’m doing the shots now, it’s pretty rad.

I do need to call my coordinator tomorrow cause I’m about out of T, which means it’ll be easier to pull T out of the vial soon. Hooray!!

Reminder that I’ve got a gofundme for my top surgery!
You can find that here: http://www.gofundme.com/vg8d4h8

Anything you can give helps a lot, and if you can’t donate right now, spreading the word would be really awesome of you. 🙂

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): Tender Lovin’

I’ve figured out why shots have been so easy for me lately! I had a hunch this is what was doing it, but I confirmed it today. As per usual, the time it takes to prep the needle comes into play, and because I’m running low on T now, it’s taking a little more time to get the syringe filled and the air out. I’m calling my coordinator to order more tomorrow.

But! The more important thing, I think, is that I’ve been like, smacking the hell out of my thigh before I inject. Or well, generally kind of punching it, also? Whatever, I’m like tenderizing myself. And doing that makes my skin feel less after, cause it’s like “What the hell, fine then, I’m not talking to you anymore”, and so I can’t feel how sharp the needle is when it touches my skin.

When it’s like that, I can press down more easily, and getting through the skin goes a little faster. Also, I think there’s a certain area of my thigh that takes the shots better. I aimed a little high this week, but only by about an inch, and I could feel the sharpness there. It was taking forever to break through the skin, and at one point I thought I had broken through and was dealing with some other sharp pain somewhere under the skin (so basically I was worried about hitting a vein), and I backed off for that reason. Naturally, I had not made it through the skin, and this has been the first week in a long time that I’ve stuck myself enough to bleed before actually doing the injection. First time in a while that I’ve had two bandaids on, and I’m proud of that.

I’m also proud of the fact that after I had to put on that first bandaid, I recognized almost immediately what had happened, tenderized a spot a little lower than I had initially aimed for, and then did my shot very quickly after that. Breaking the skin there was no problem, and I was actually able to inject a little faster than normal, too. No leakage, though, and barely any bleeding at all, just the tiniest little beginnings of blood when it took me a second to get the bandaid out of its wrapper.

So I still count it as a good week. I think it’s a good week whenever I don’t feel intense fear?? Or whenever I don’t sit there for 20 minutes trying to push my hand down. I’m getting past that mental barrier of putting on pressure, and I’ve found a way to get past the physical barrier of the sharp needle and how it affects me mentally, too.

Good things!

In less good news, I have discovered that changing my name on the systems other people can see at work only happens when I have changed my name with the Social Security Administration first. So, I have had my name legally changed for a little while, it’s just not on any of my documents yet because my car doesn’t like to get me around town. Monday I’m getting my best friend to take me to the SSA office, though, and I’ll get my new SS card about a week after that. Once that’s done I can change it with work, and I can go to the DMV and get my license changed. Once those two are changed, I can get it changed at the bank, and that will take care of the most important things. I’ll have to get my parents to change the stuff on my insurance, but it can wait a minute.

I think my being sick recently made my voice low enough that I was able to pass easier, but what’s unfortunate about that is now that I’m getting better, my voice doesn’t sound as low, and I’m getting misgendered more often. I literally just posted on here that it’s only going to get better from here, and that’s true, but there’s a slight regression now just because of that lack of gravel, I think. It’s nothing big to worry about, it’s just annoying to deal with when I thought some really good progress was solidly done. Ah, well. It’ll keep getting deeper, so it’s nothing big.

Mostly I look forward to the next few months when my voice gets low enough that I won’t get misgendered when I’m working drive thru. It’s really surprising how many people have to use a gendered honorific when talking to someone through a box, but I guess that’s what happens when you live in the south.

(I wonder if that’ll change when I move out of the south, hmmmm.)

Reminder that I’ve got a gofundme for my top surgery!
You can find that here: http://www.gofundme.com/vg8d4h8

Anything you can give helps a lot, and if you can’t donate right now, spreading the word would be really awesome of you. 🙂

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): Torso Ideals

The shot was quick and easy again this week, thank everything. I’m starting to run low in my vial, so I’m gonna have to call in for more soon, maybe after next week’s shot. I’ve been on T for a little over 3 months now! It’s interesting to think about, because I have had some changes, and I can see it working but I know there’s a lot more for me to go through and changes to see happen.

Speaking of, the other day I noticed a few wiry, long, and generally annoying hairs leading up from my crotch. Like, I have the beginnings of a happy trail anyway, but these few hairs were different. I’m pretty sure it was just pubic hair that had ventured north, like is supposed to happen, but they were annoying me, so I plucked them? More will grow, so I’m not worried about it, it was just a thing.

And recently I saw something while watching Mad Men that made me realize: some men are REALLY hairy. A man on the show had hair that lead up from his happy trail, covered his abs, and then met his chest hair at his pecs. Maybe I’m just not used to seeing that because we live in a time when that’s not considered as handsome as it was, but it made me realize JUST how much hair could possibly grow on me. Like, I could become fuzzy as hell, y’all. And that’s kind of a cool thought? I’m interested in the idea, and am curious to see how I deal with the new body hair when it comes in regularly. Ahhhh man, it’s so exciting!! I’m gonna be handsome, hairy man.

Also!!! The other day I was at a restaurant with my friend and I didn’t get misgendered one time!! The waitress used ‘guys’, ‘fellas’ and the like the entire time she was talking to us, and called me Sir, and when she got the card with my birthname on it, she thought it was my mom’s card!!! Which I went along with, because hell yes!!!!

MAN. That was the first time that I’ve been in public and not been misgendered to hell and back, oh man, it was so awesome.

This is only gonna get better, and I’m starting to see that the worst is kind of behind me at this point. As I go through transition, and when I eventually go through top surgery, I’m going to start only getting read and recognized as a man, and I am so looking forward to that.

Oh, reminder that I have a donation set up for top surgery, so if you wanna help me get there, it’d be super awesome of you: http://www.gofundme.com/vg8d4h8

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): One Thing Leads to Another

Alrighty.

When I said last week that shots are easier now, I really meant it. I did shot 14 today, and from start to finish it took about 16 minutes. That’s all the needle prep, getting the needle down and T injected, and cleaning up after. 16 minutes. I’m proud of myself, and happy I’m able to get through it much easier now, since the effects are really coming through and this is something I’ve wanted so much. There’s still a bit of fear, you know? It’s still weird to do, but mostly it’s an “I’ve got to do this, so let’s get it done” kind of thing at this point.

I’m very, very pleased.

The T is doing it’s job! More and more now I catch the shadow at my jaw, and on my lip, and I wonder what it’s going to look like as it keeps coming in, and when the hair actually starts coming through. I wonder what my natural hair growth pattern on my face will be! It’s weird on my head, like strange directions and swirls, so I am curious.

And my voice is much lower now! Yesterday my friends called my phone while I was at work, and I haven’t changed my voicemail message since March, probably, so when they heard my voice they were surprised because it doesn’t sound like me anymore!!!! They said that they’re used to how deep I sound now so it was jarring for them to hear the old message, and that made me so happy. I’ll change that message today, probably.

Also my voice keeps cracking. Like, intensely. Daily. I can only imagine that my voice is going to be very very low when it’s done getting where it wants to be, just cause of how much I’ve been cracking, and how low it already is. It’s exciting, it’s so exciting!!!!

AND! Important news!!!

I’ve known that I’ve wanted top surgery for a while now, but more and more often recently I feel like I shouldn’t leave the house, or interact with people, unless I’ve got my binder on. And that sucks. Binders are great at what they do, but they aren’t super de duper comfortable, and I don’t like wearing them for a long time. I have to wear them at work in the hopes of not getting misgendered, but ugh. In my daily life, personal time, I don’t like feeling like I NEED to wear it.

So I’ve decided that I want to get top surgery ASAP, instead of purposefully waiting on it. Of course, I can’t afford it right now, so I’ve started a gofundme, and I’m trying to get people to help in any way they can.

Here’s the link to that: http://www.gofundme.com/vg8d4h8

If you can help, or spread the word at all, it’s really appreciated. My best friend and I plan to move across the country next year, so I’d prefer to have it done before then. Other than that, there’s no time limit on it, it’s just whenever I can get the funds for it.

Big things!!!

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): Takin’ Care of Business

News!

So I FINALLY got my blood drawn the other day for a blood test, I had to go to a LabCorp here in Athens, and let me tell you, that was awful. It was awful only because I had to fast, and I got called in for a surprise shift during the morning, which meant all 8 hours that I was supposed to not eat, I was awake for. My appointment was at 2, but they couldn’t get my order for the bloodwork in for various reasons, it got so ridiculous that Sybastian called me and was like, “Listen, I wanna go home, hand the phone to the nurse, I’ll take care of this.” It was pretty wild. Long story short I didn’t get seen to take my blood until about 4ish. So I was STARVING. And you know how the reason I wasn’t able to do it in Atlanta was because they couldn’t get blood out of me? Well I was worried about that for this time, but I drank SO MUCH water before my appointment and took a bath and shower and was like, “Never again.” But then I waited in the lobby for 2 hours and was worried, but I drank from the water fountain and stuff.

They got me back there at 4ish, and then, guess what? It took 5 minutes. One stick, hardly any movement, blood drawn quick as can be.

I couldn’t believe it, I almost cried with relief. Then I got to leave and I immediately wolfed down some Burger King because I deserved it.

Now, today!

It’s Sunday, so it’s T shot day, and really I planned to do it as soon as I got home from work and had taken a bath (which was close to one), but instead I took a short nap, ate some food, got some trash out of my room, and started some laundry. So, I was productive.

But, with all that done, I got to it, and this week getting the air out was a biiiiiitch. Like, it took 15 minutes to pull the T and get the air out, which was ridiculous. There was a tiny little bubble that stayed in the solution, and I’m gonna be honest, I was past the point of giving a shit.

So I started a Markiplier video, quite possibly the same one from last week, I can’t remember, and got to it. I’m getting better at this, honestly. I’m only doing one spot now, as in I’m not pricking myself before I get the actual needle down. My first prick is my only prick these days, cause I tell myself once I’ve gotten down enough to sting (as in, the needle’s actually going to go through the skin), there’s no going back.

This is week it also felt like it took a million years to break through the skin, which was bizarre, just because when you haven’t actually broken through it just looks like the needle is disappearing into a cater on your leg, whereas an actual shot just looks like your leg normally but with a needle in it.

After I broke through, though, it was a piece of cake, down real easy, no stinging or veins, nothing unusual. Doing the injection was kinda weird cause I think I was more aware of the T as it was going in. But that’s fine, it’s in, and that’s the goal. I don’t think I had any seeping this week, and there wasn’t much blood, so booyah.

It’s getting easier, now, thank god. I’m only gonna keep getting used to it, so this is great, it’ll only get easier from here.

Also, fun story: At work the other day a customer leaned in and whispered, “I don’t want to offend you… but you’re very pretty.” Which was strange, but also good? Cause what I gather from that is that she read me as a guy, and didn’t want to offend my masculinity by saying I was pretty. So, uh. Yay!!!

My facial hair is still starting up, the lip shadow is darker now, and I think I’m catching hints of shade on my jaw, which I’m more excited about. I’ve got a friend who really wants me to have a mustache just so I can nuzzle her with it, but that’s fine. After that it’s probably gone, cause I’m not about it.

Ooh, also, my name will be changed at work soon, so no one there will ever have to see my birthname again!!! Thank goodness, it’s about time. I’m very pleased, it’s good times all around.

(P.S.: When they say your libido increases with T, they’re not wrong. Like, still have no sex drive as far as actually wanting to have sex with people, but I’ve being jerking off like crazy, it’s kind of ridiculous.)

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): With Both Ears On

So! It was a good day.

I didn’t have work for long today, I called my mom to say Happy Mother’s Day and chat about life, and I had some good food. I took a bath when I got home, and since I got back in the early evening, I decided to go ahead and do my shot immediately after that.

This time, I decided to try a calming mechanism of listening to my favorite youtuber during my shot. So I turned on a Markiplier vlog, washed my hands, and got to work.

I was able to track time for this one using that video, and I turned on the fan in my bathroom for an extra calming thing, and that worked surprisingly well. I briefly, lightly touched my thigh with the needle like twice, and then it was go-time. Because I didn’t have the usual build up where I do nothing for like 15 minutes, I wasn’t used to bringing the needle down at all, so it took me longer than normal to break through the skin. But! I got through it, and then the needle went down no problem. Didn’t hit any veins, didn’t get any stinging, didn’t do anything wrong, it was all awesome. I was a little annoyed because I think I only got .31ish instead of .35 out of the syringe after I got the air out of it, but I don’t know if that matters a whole ton.

I got my shot done in its entirety, from start to finish, in about 15 minutes. A little less, I think. I’m proud of myself, and I think I’m getting better at this, truly. Also, my voice is definitely significantly deeper, and it keeps going. It cracks a lot, so I know it’ll only get lower, and the shadow on my lip is usually noticeable to most people now. And! My name change is officially done, I have the last piece of paper that I need, and so all I have to do this week is go by the Social Security office, and the DDS, change my info on my social security card and driver’s licence, and then I can get everything else changed!!! I will never have to be called my birth name ever again, and it’s gonna be great. 🙂

I’m in great spirits about all things trans right now. This week I also have to call my coordinator to move my bloodtests to a LabCorp here, so that can happen soon, and hopefully that will also involve a new batch of T coming my way, because where I’ve got enough for another shot, maybe a few, it won’t last more than a few weeks, I think. I should get more soon.

Anyway, I’m in great spirits and everything’s going my way. 🙂

Transitioning (HRT Stuff): Rolling Along

I’ve got two things to report about: one is my appointment I had last Wednesday, and the other is the shot I did today.

Last Wednesday I had work at noon, and I live a little over an hour from the doctor that prescribes T to me. So to make sure we had time to get there, do the appointment, and get back, we scheduled it as early as we could, which was 9am. That meant I had to get up early, and my best friend Nico was awesome and drove me to the appointment since I have car issues. We made it there after a stressful drive, I filled out my paperwork, and guess what?

We could not get blood out of me. Literally all I was there for was a blood test, and no matter what we did, we could not get a sample. This happened at my last appointment too, and we thought it was because I didn’t have water that morning. But for this appointment I made sure to drink two cups of water before I left the house, and fast like I was supposed to. It didn’t help.

At that first appointment, we had to hold my arm tilted towards the ground and just let it drip for like 20 minutes, but that wasn’t happening at this one.

Nah, at the one on Wednesday they stuck me 5 times, twice in either arm and once in my right hand, and NONE of my veins were cooperating. They rolled, I guess? What was strange was the one in my hand was HUGE and the nurses were like, “Yeah, that’s a juicy one, it’ll be great”, but they tried it, and literally they had the needle IN the vein and it would not bleed. It only bled after they took the needle out.

There was one stick, I think the second on my right arm, that looked like it might behave, but then once we got excited it was like, “lol jk, I don’t think I will”. So I left the office feeling like a pincushion but without having gotten a blood test started. I cannot explain how frustrated that made me. I wanted to cry on the way back, because seriously, we came all the way out there, got up ridiculously early, and instead of being able to nap afterwards I had to go do an 8 hour shift immediately when we got back. It was the worst. Especially since I had one stick on my hand.

But whatever, that happened. The ladies in the office let me know that we’re gonna set up something with a LabCorp here so that I don’t have to come all the way to Atlanta for bloodwork. My coordinator’s out of town until Wednesday, but I’ll call him then and figure out what’s going on with that, and finally ask him some of the questions I’ve been having.

So that was Wednesday.

Today was much better. I had a short shift this morning, then I came home, took a bath, and instead of waiting until the evening to do my shot like I usually do, I just decided to go ahead with it. It took a while to prep today, I was having some trouble getting the air out of the syringe, but I eventually got it, and I was able to get it done pretty quickly today? I thought, I don’t know how much time actually passed.

It didn’t feel like a long time. I didn’t stick myself hard enough to bleed at all, the injection site was the only one, and I was able to get myself to do the actual injection with a little self-motivation. Also picked a good spot cause I didn’t hit anything, and it didn’t sting at all. I got it low like it needed to be, and I don’t think anything seeped out. So, a good week!

I think I can tell when I’ve done the shot well by how my leg feels after, and if it doesn’t feel like I did much of anything, then I’ve done it right!

That’s today, and it’s a good day, so I’m happy. Also, my boss told me that a different trans guy who used to work where I work (Starbucks) let her know that there’s a way to change my name on all the paperwork even though my name change isn’t done yet. She’s gonna give me the number tomorrow, and I’ve added that guy on facebook, so that’ll get worked out soon, too! Everything is pretty awesome!!!

Oh!! And literally the day after I posted on here about having a little shadow on my upper lip, one of my friends noticed it! So I’m not just imagining things, I’m really starting to get some facial hair! It’s light, but it’s starting, and that’s exciting! There’s also a little spot on my chin, like right under my lip, that is starting to get shadow, too, which is rad. I can’t wait for it to start on my jaw, but this is rad as hell, I’m so happy!!!