I didn’t realize what the differences were in the most recent order of T I got and the one from before that. Obviously, the biggest difference is T is sesame oil v. T in cotton seed oil, which so far has not been that much of a difference in actual changes produced or in how they inject (the thickness is about the same). Higher dosage seems to be honestly affecting me faster, since I’ve been told my other baristas at work that my voice is noticeably lower- to the point that one person who told me last week that my voice is lower now actually said yesterday that it’s even lower now! So, awesome!!! Everyone expects that my voice will be a real low base when it reaches the lowest it’s going to get, since it’s already here at 4 months.
The difference that I didn’t notice last week is that I was given a smaller needle for injecting this time. Last time I had 22’s for injecting, I think. Those seemed about right, a couple inches long, and thin enough to not hurt much. The ones I got in this box are 23’s, which I didn’t think would be much of a difference, maybe a little thinner or something, but it’s so different!!! It’s about a 1/4 inch shorter, and just a little thinner, but the shortness is what’s gotten me. I was worried it wouldn’t even get through the muscle to inject into, but I guess it did? The shot today was a little weird, lemme tell you about it.
So I had initially started up a video to be listening to during this, but I decided to not listen to it this time and eventually put my phone away from me. Turned on the fan in my bathroom, and off to work it was. So at this point I’d already prepped the needle, which worked out pretty well and didn’t take too long, but was a little off-feeling cause of the shorter needle. Still was fine, though. I had to work myself up to injecting for some reason, so I had to do the hit my leg thing a couple of times, and then I ran the alcohol pad over it and blew on it to do the cold thing. When I realized that was happening, I was like, “Oh shit, that might be to make the skin a little less sensitive for a second, MY TIME IS NOW.” and so I was quick about getting the needle in while the skin was still cool from the alcohol pad. Which was fine, though it stung just a little more than I thought it should have? Idk. I don’t think I nicked a vein or anything, it just felt kind weird during it, like I was hyper aware of where the top of the syringe was meeting my skin, and was also hyper aware of the T entering my body. Like, sometimes I feel the T, or an effect of the T being injected, and it feels like a liquid pouring down my leg. It doesn’t always feel that way the whole time or anything, but today I also felt a liquid-y feeling near my hip, which was bizarre.
That and the sting made me wonder if I’d fucked up, like if I was injecting into a vein or if I just missed the muscle entirely and it was just being injected right under the skin and going wherever the fuck. But I don’t think that happened, I think it went just fine. I feel a little weird right now, though, about 20ish minutes after I’ve finished. My chest feels a little tight, but I think that’s me having a little lingering fear that I fucked it up. The injection site is a little sore, but it didn’t bleed at all when I took the needle out and put pressure on it, so I’m pretty sure that shot actually went really well.
I’ll have to get used to the shorter needle, but other than that, I think things are good on the actual injection front.
The T’s effects are in full swing at this point. I’m getting hairier by the day, like everywhere. I was aware that I’d grow hair a lot of places, but I definitely didn’t understand exactly how much hair and they definitely meant everywhere. The facial hair is almost done shadowing in and the hair is growing longer there, so it’s only a matter of time before the actual facial hair comes in. I’ve got a bunch of acne now, but it’s mostly on my back honestly? And it’s annoying. I bought a scrub brush to use on my back in the shower and hopefully get rid of some of it. There are only a couple spots on my face, and they’re small, so I’m not super bothered by those.
The voice, as I’ve said, is lower, and get this! I bought myself what I’m gonna call a mini-binder the other day, since you’re not supposed to exercise in a binder but these are fine. So yesterday I wore that around the house to do laundry and wash my regular binders, but I didn’t give myself enough time because they weren’t dry by the time I needed to leave for work. So I ended up going to work in the mini-binder and I was worried that I was going to be dysphoric the entire time, but I wasn’t! The mini-binder doesn’t bind quite as well as a regular binder, so naturally I was afraid I’d get misgendered a lot, but in the entirety of my 6 hour shift I was only misgendered one time and enthusiastically called “Sir” for the majority of it. It was amazing and I’m very happy.
I am very pleased with most things in my life right now, as you’ve all heard about, and everything that is happening with T is only great and making me feel awesome. Huzzah!
Oh, also my birthday is on July 14th!!! 9 days!!! I’m gonna turn 21, and I’m so excited about it. Usually I’m not excited for birthdays, but I am this year and that’s rad. 🙂 (If you wanted to donate to my Top Surgery fund as a birthday gift that would be the coolest thing, btw. Like, the most rad.)
Reminder that I’ve got a gofundme for my top surgery!
You can find that here: GoFundMe!!!
Anything you can give helps a lot, and if you can’t donate right now, spreading the word would be really awesome of you. 🙂